Too Little Time

I have not had time to write a post on being a mom, so now as Shaela sleeps, I will highlight a few things:

• receiving her from her orphanage nanny was one of the golden moments on our trip to China. Our union felt like a reunion, it was so immediate and right. I loved that she cradelled into my neck and I was able to kiss her neck so freely.
  
• No one talks about how mom's go to the bathroom with a little one, especially if they can't be put down. It is difficult to begin with, but in China with the squatty toilets, you have to have extreme balance! Skirts and shorts with elastic waistbands are a must!
• I was wondering in the beginning (when Shaela would scream bloody murder if I put her down or gave her to Justin and I was completely sleep deprived) if all those parents who were asked "is it worth it?" and they replied affirmatively, if they were lying and just telling themselves or deluding themselves with their choices. Now I can truly say it is worth it, without any delusions. Shaela is amazing and I am having so much fun!
• When we first received her, and after we got home, I had this strange feeling that I could not do anything but be there for her, it was a helplessness that created an inertia. I had to tell myself that I could hold her and do things at the same time, that I didn't need Justin to do everything else. I guess having a 20 lb baby all of a sudden is kind of strange. Also, when we first received her, she had a tendency to flop backward or sideways and could hurt herself easily. Thank goodness that is over.
• She is at this beautiful stage right now where she can walk, but doesn't choose to by herself (still a little unsteady), so she can be left for very short bouts (me running to put something away in the other room), which is tremendously freeing for someone who has been by her side non-stop for so long. And she isn't so secure that she is running about freely and wreaking havoc.
  
• I have started to go back to work very very slowly and it feels good. I feel so much more balanced working a little and being there for Shaela, Justin, Kobi and Tara. I actually have more energy.
  
• My mind does not do so well if I am in baby playing mode. It would rather sleep sometimes. I was told that I have beta wave dominated brain (which is alert and active) and not enough alpha waves (more on stand by). So I love being active with Shaela, bringing her to the pool, hiking, reading books, playing instruments, singing to her, etc. The walking in circles and slow playing are hard for me.
• I have complete respect for parents and utter awe about single parents and how they do it!
• I will never judge a parent for having kids who have snot coming out of their noses, kids who make a complete mess when eating and for kids with temper tantrums. Bless all parents!
  
• I am appreciative of all my family and friends who have blessed us with their love and encouragement.
• Building a new house while being a new mommy are quite a juggling act, but we thank God for Doug McDowell, our contractor, who has made it so easy and given us such peace of mind (which is no small feat for me!)
• The things I have been procrastinating on, are life insurance and wills etc. Boy talk about a depressing subject. Hopefully I will get to it soon!

Blessings to You All!
Love and Light,
Debbie