Death and Love

No more posting about the words Shaela has learned or said, she is now amazing us with her concepts and her deep deep feelings. I am talking about death. She is very sensitive to the subject of dying and death. She has been saying to me almost daily for the past few months, "Mommy I don't want you to die!" You can imagine the thoughts that go through my head. Is she psychic? Does she know something I don't know? I have been feeling old and a bit achy, hormonally challenged and losing my sight. It is hard when you already go there with yourself, to have your 4 yo crying about your pending death. She even has "bad dreams" about it, where one of my friends has fallen into a river and I am trying to help him, I fall and die.

How do I discuss this with her? Thank God for muscle testing. When she first had her dreams and woke up crying intensely, I wasn't sure what to say. Then I found out it was a past life. So I began telling her of reincarnation and lifetimes where we die and then come back again. She didn't want me to change into anyone but who I am now. So I also explained to her after several reoccurring dreams of my death, that this was a previous lifetime, not the current one (thank God!). This totally helped her. But she still doesn't want me to die. So I tell her that maybe in this lifetime, we will find out how to live forever.... no small feat for Mom. Oh, the life of a mother healer....

Last night we watched Wallace & Gromit and the Curse of the Wererabbit. At the end the wererabbit falls and looks like he is dead, Shaela bursts into tears and can't stop crying. We tried to show her that he was still alive, but she was inconsolable and wanted to go to bed. It broke my heart. She feels so deeply.

Although this line of discussion is disconcerting, it does bring up another quality of Shaela that is so remarkable. Her intense love. She loves me so much it hurts her to think of me dying. What a beautiful thing. I better not ever die...

On a lighter side, Shaela is getting better with her name. She likes to write "lists" of names (scribbling) of who she likes and who she doesn't and won't invite to her birthday party.

She is still learning how to sleep with training pants at night. She loves to pick our wild flowers and make beautiful altars for me. She picked a bunch of flowers and then put her multicolored crocheted blanket under them and her special pot she made me for Mother's Day with some special rocks she found all on my make up table. I look at them everyday and feel so loved!

I love that little one who is so big inside!
Love and Blessings to you all,
Debbie, Justin, Shaela and Kobi and Tara